Saturday, June 6, 2015

Erica's Thoughts A Year Later

As Dad's health started to severely decline after the Christmas of 2013, we as a family started talking about what was best for him. Living on his own was beginning to be unsafe, as he was fainting from lack of oxygen. We started to look around at assisted living facilities. One in particular - Sunrise Senior Living - started to look more and more appealing to all of us. All of us except Dad.

Dad was pretty adamant that he didn't want to live at an assisted living facility. We tried to persuade him. We pointed out all of the good things about it - people were there who were his own age, there were lots of activities to do to occupy his time, and, most important to us, medical professionals who had knowledge to help him that we...well, that we just didn't. But still Dad didn't budge. He argued that the room he would live in was too small. "It would barely fit a twin-sized bed," he said stubbornly. He worried that no one would visit him. He was in no mood to be social and mingle with other residents. He just wanted to be near those who loved him most.

I remember talking to Dad about the Sunrise place one afternoon as we sat outside watching the kids play basketball. "You know, Dad," I mused out loud, "at least it's not called Sunset." Dad laughed and agreed. It became an inside joke between us after that. Heaven forbid Dad go live at a place called Sunset. ;)

Though at that time I knew we were on the downhill slide with Dad's health, I didn't realize that our prayers that when his time came to pass on it would go quickly would be answered so soon. Within just a few weeks of that conversation in my driveway, I was at the side of his casket mourning his death.

Over the past year as I have grieved, sunsets have taken on new meaning.

Each beautiful sunset reminds me of my dad. As the blue of the daytime sky fades into twilight and shimmering bands of gold, tangerine and crimson wash across the western sky, I think of Dad and his words, "It's not goodbye, it's see you later."

Here I sit, exactly one year later, full of the same feelings that are still so fresh, but are yet becoming more familiar. There are few bonds that are as close as that of parent and child, and the missing half of the physical presence of my dad leaves my heart aching.

I have an emptiness inside me that has left me doing some things robotically. This past year has been, hands down, the hardest of my life. Even feeling inspired to write blog posts is lacking, knowing that the one who was the most vocal about how much he loved reading my blog is gone.

I thought the year anniversary of Dad's passing would feel just like yesterday, or the day before, or six months ago. But a year feels heavy. A year is significant.

I made plans today to do my normal things - take care of my kids, go to work, prepare for upcoming activities, and, most of all, I was determined to keep my intense sadness to myself. June 5 is a hard day for me, but of course it is a normal day to most of those I associate with. In the end, however, I decided I needed to be patient with myself and give myself the room I needed to just be. I cancelled after-school plans and instead sat in the sunshine while the kids played basketball and I read and re-read a text from my dear friend Jen McBride:  

Your feelings are what remind us of eternal blessings and temporal heartaches. Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays are all a little sadder because someone is missing. 

She's right. Missing my dad makes my heart ache like nothing I've ever felt before, but it is just temporal. The sunsets in our lives are precursors to the brilliant sunrises - the eternal blessings - that are just waiting for us.

Love you, Dad. You make me smile.

Posted By Erica to Barfuss Barometer at 6/05/2015 09:19:00 PM

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Barfuss Family Reunion 2015

June 26 & 27 2015

Barfuss Family Reunion Bonus Activity
Fri. June 26th

Jordan River Temple
Temple Session 6:00 p.m.
(be in the chapel by 5:40)
Baptisms for the Dead
Ice cream treats at the Wasden's following the temple activities

The Main Event
Sat June 27, 2015

Family fun at Andy and Julie's house in Farmington

1:00 to 4:00 p.m.  
Swimming in the neighborhood pool

2:30 to 4:00 p.m.
Water activities at Andy and Julie's house
Water slide, kiddie pool etc.
Non-water fun and games for all ages

Dinner at Andy and Julie's
(Bring food assignments by 4:00 p.m.)
KFC --Compliments of Grandpa and Grandma
Salads/Drinks/Desserts (assigned)

5:00 p.m.
Barfuss Trivia game (during dinner)

5:30 p.m.
Program following dinner
Comments from Grandpa Barfuss
Remembering Uncle Larry
Sing a few songs
Big Family Picture

6:15 p.m. until dusk
The party continues….
Individual Family Pictures
Volleyball and continuation of outdoor games

Saturday, May 16, 2015


Memorial day is Monday May 25
We'll meet at the cemetery at 9:00 am
We are excited for you to see the new headstone
for Grandma LaRue
as well as Larry's beautiful bench
We'll have our annual breakfast 
and four square game.

We're getting ready to renovate the basement
and upgrade the heating system
so we will appreciate help from all the
strong young men in the family
to help move furniture out of the basement
into the garage on that morning!
We'll call you to make the food assignments
for the breakfast.
Hope to see you all on  Memorial Day!

A Sweet "Tender Mercy"

Uncle Vic, Grandpa's 92 year old brother
passed away last evening, May 15, 2015
His daughter, Dree brought him to see us just
three and a half weeks ago!
He stayed over night with us and
he and Grandpa had such a good visit.
It was a sweet "tender mercy" for them to be together
and watch them express their love for one another.
We knew he wasn't in very good health but no one knew
just how sick he really was until they got him to the Dr. after he got home.
His funeral will be Friday May 22, 2015

 So happy to be together

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Do You Know How to Make an Old Man Happy?

The highlight of Grandpa's week is cutting the lawn!
He was up at the crack of dawn,
hurried through breakfast and scripture reading
then he was ready to mow.
He hasn't been wearing his "boot" lately
but he agreed to put it on to mow the lawn.
I'm grateful we got it done before I had to leave 
to visit my sister and help her with lunch.
Now he's a happy man!

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Emily Beck and Christie Boswell Baby Shower

Wilfy numbers 36 and 37 are coming this sumer!
Please join us in celebrating these events at a baby shower
on Saturday May 2, 2015
At  Aunt Julie Beck's home in Murray.
11:00 am to 1:00 pm
They are both registered at Target and Baby's R Us
Gift cards will be appreciated since they will be 
returning home on the plane and 
luggage is limited.
Hope to see you all there!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Wilfy gift exchange

Our annual Wilfardo / Wilfy party is just a few weeks away!  Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, for hosting every year - we love it!

Below is a list of the Wilfy book gift exchange. The age is how old the child will be in December.

Jeremy - Dylan Mason, age 3

Hailey - Austin Barfuss, age 1

Max - Jace Larsen, age 7

Jordan - Cory Dastrup, age 5

Zoe - Ayden Turek, age 3

Madison - Cade Hancock, age 3

Dylan B. - Mason Hancock, age 6

Brady - Jackson May, age 1

Tylie - Lyla Barfuss, age 2

Leah - Jordan Banks, age 10

Jace - Roman Turek, 5 months

Cannon - Olivia Banks, age 7

Olivia - Parker Mason, age 1

Mason - Zoe Tidwell, age 10

Cayden - Mya Glenn, age 4

Cory - Leah Larsen, age 8

William - Gwendolyn Barfuss, 6 months

Mya - Cayden Barfuss, age 5

Ayden - Max Tidwell, age 12

Jaken - Cannon Tidwell, age 7

Dylan M. - Jeremy Dastrup, age 16

Cade - Madison Barfuss, age 9

Lyla - Dylan Banks, age 8

Owen - Zaylee Hancock, age 1

Austin - Brady Dastrup, age 8

Jackson - William Tidwell, age 4

Zaylee - Jaken Barfuss, age 3

Parker - Tylie Hancock, age 8

Gwendolyn - Owen Glenn, age 1

Roman - Mack Glenn, 5 weeks

Mack Glenn - Hailey Dastrup, 14

Looking forward to seeing everyone!
Love, Erica